Meet Our Resident of the Month ~ Janice Tobolski

Janice Tobolski, a resident of Trier Woods 55+ Independent Living Community for the past four years, shared her experience of living on The Brothers of Mercy Wellness Campus.

How did you originally hear about The Brothers of Mercy Wellness Campus?
My husband Joe died in 2021, and I was working part-time in the East Aurora library at the time. One of my duties was to stand in the lobby at closing time to let people know we were closing. There were a lot of brochures in the lobby and I would look at them. I saw one for senior living apartments at The Brothers of Mercy. I took it home and read it. I loved living in East Aurora, but I had to sell my house. It was just too big, and I couldn’t keep up with the yard and home maintenance. I grew up in Rhode Island but lived in the Village of East Aurora for our married life of thirty-six years.  I loved our home and the walkability of the village.

I wanted a place that wasn’t too busy with a lot of traffic. The Brothers of Mercy in Clarence caught my attention because they had different levels of care. (I have no children and my sisters live in New England and Virginia). I thought this might be a good place to live. It was during COVID, which made it tough. I called for information four and a half years ago. The first person I spoke with was Mary Baty (who is now our Director at Trier Woods) and she was so welcoming and answered my questions.  I soon scheduled a tour, met Ashley and Jan in the office, Joe and Garrett from maintenance (my husband’s name was Joe and we met in Garrattsville!), and toured the residence to see if it would fill my likes and needs.  I was thrilled to see the Chapel and to know I would have access to weekly Mass. That meant a lot to me. The clincher was my dad’s middle name was Clarence.

Are there activities you enjoy at Trier Woods?
I like to attend the resident dinners held a few times a year, where I can relax with friends, enjoy a good meal and entertainment. I always go to Lori’s exercise class! She is such a cheerleader and knows about our individual aches and pains, and shows us how to modify our moves. She is uplifting and gives us energy. I try to go to that class three times a week. We have various programs and activities that are not scheduled weekly, and I often sign up for those. I love having the Library Van2Go come here once a month. It is so convenient for borrowing, even reserving videos and books from the Erie County Library.

Have you gotten to know your neighbors at Trier Woods?
I felt welcomed from the day I moved in.  I have met a few new friends and enjoy talking with other residents, especially one-on-one. One very good friend has been here two years, and we have so much in common even though we have very different personalities. We are both widows, had wonderful husbands, and like to trade stories about them. Our conversations usually focus on gratitude rather than on gloomy topics; we know we will see our loved ones again. For Mother’s Day, she invited me to join her family.  I have met her siblings, nieces and nephews, and they have invited me to their homes.  It feels like they have adopted me. For the holidays, I alternate between celebrating with her family and Joe’s family in Western New York. I don’t leave the campus or travel much. Local stores and Amazon meet most of my needs. I am content here getting to know my neighbors and being in a safe environment. Walking around the campus refreshes me. I can walk the same paths yet notice something new to admire. I love the birds and blossoms, and the trees in all seasons.

What do you love about living on Campus?
What I like about it is that I can set my own rhythm. We all have different needs as far as socializing. I like having my own apartment, surrounded by mementos that have meaning for me.  I do need time for solitude, not isolation. I can schedule my time according to who I want to be or who I am meant to become when I grow up, rather than living according to someone else’s timetable. I like the flow and freedom here. I am a lark, so I love the early hours of the day. I like to plan and cook my own meals and eat at a good time for me.

I see a lot of kindness in the residents and volunteers. They do a lot of work for the programs and activities here like Wi Bowling, Jeopardy, bingo and other games including card games; Book Club, Coffee and Conversation, Walking Club…. But wait!  There’s more!  There are opportunities that uplift our souls, like Bible Study, an Interfaith Service, Bible Prayer Group, weekly Catholic Communion Service, Rosary and Catholic Mass.  Someone has voluntarily taken on the job of cleaning our hall and community room floors. One couple does a marvelous job gardening around our residence and the St. Francis garden.  Another two residents sort and bag the baked goods donated by the local Food Pantry. People are willing to pitch in.  When somebody is sick, residents offer to help. I have a neighbor, Ben, who is 100, old enough to be my dad.  When I first moved in, he made sure I had flashlights and batteries for emergencies.  He comes over to bring me treats when he has extra.

What would you say to someone who faces a similar situation as you did about what the benefits of living at Trier Woods on our Campus?
It’s surprising how many times while walking outdoors that people stop to ask me directions. We stop and chat. One time I met a nurse who was going to the skilled nursing center to visit a former patient. I thought that was so beautiful. She is looking ahead to retirement, selling her house, and looking at options of where to live. I told her everything I liked about living here. Just a glance at our monthly Community Calendar is enough to see all the programs and activities offered at Trier Woods.

Our campus is in a quiet, convenient location.  I like the fact that there is breathing space and love the layout of the buildings. A bird’s eye view looks like pinwheels at various angles throughout the campus, and I appreciate that the buildings are not looming high-rises. It feels more like a small village.  Instead of seeing someone else’s window across an alley, I can look out my window and see the St. Francis garden, and it reminds me of my husband who is buried in the St. Francis Natural Burial Garden in the Queen of Heaven Cemetery in Lockport. And in the future when I get sick, there will be different levels of care to choose from. The Campus meets my needs of body, mind, heart and soul, and I have the opportunity to share. There are so many wonderful people here at Trier Woods. Some perk up when they sense a listening ear.  It astonishes me to hear about their lives, where they have lived, what they have accomplished and whom they have loved.  There are also sad stories of suffering some have endured.  Everyone has a story, and we don’t have to be clones to connect. I admire my neighbors and feel at home here.

Little did I know four years ago that I would be blessed to be a Eucharistic Minister and Lector at our weekly Communion Service and Mass. Two friends and I rotate duties.  I help Brother Ken set up for Mass every week and sometimes I think about those five Brothers of Mercy who had the courage over a hundred years ago to move to Western New York. It was shortly after the First World War and Germans probably wouldn’t have been very popular at the time. I am very grateful for them. I also appreciate those who have worked towards building a Campus of Compassionate Care in the past and present, (like Peter Eimer, Jennifer Blackchief), and those who are dedicated to carrying on the mission through the Foundation (like Nancy Gugino).  If it weren’t for all the people who have believed in this ideal, we wouldn’t have such a wonderful place to live.  I was looking for a place to lay my head. I found: Faith, Friendship, Family, and FUN.